Two weeks ago, I had an audition for a theater company that I was really excited about. I was so excited about this company, in fact, that I thought this audition was more a formality than anything else–I thought I was a shoe-in for the company. Nonetheless, I worked hard to prepare for my audition, and even though I was sick, I powered through my performance, and felt really good about it. Imagine my disappointment, then, when I received the “Thank you, but please audition again next time” email. Disappointment is an understatement. I was devastated. Angry, even.

I get knocked down…

The audition panel was gracious enough to offer me some feedback on my audition, which I will implement for my next audition for them. In the interim, I will attend meetings, and be an ‘Associated Artist’ with this company, and get to know its members on a deeper level before auditioning again.

…But I get up again…

Rejection is simply part of being in this business we call show. Things are not always going to go according to plan, and you have to be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. This week, I made more strident efforts for my career than I have in a long time. (Being sick really takes a toll, y’all.) On Sunday, I participated in Casting Society Cares NYC’s event, Meals for Monologues, wherein I donated some canned goods, and got to perform a monologue for a panel of casting directors. It was a great opportunity to showcase my work, and also give back to my community.

You are never gonna keep me down.

On Monday, I attended the Write Now Workshop for the first time in several weeks, and was able to participate in a few readings and discussions of new plays in development. On Wednesday, I attended a seminar regarding how to use certain programs to further my career, then went to the library to find a copy of the play I’m auditioning for on Monday, and had to put it on hold. On Thursday, I had an audition for an Off-Broadway play that I’m actually really excited about! I arrived at the Equity building at about 6:45 AM, and was able to be #2 on the EMC list! Then, when I was taking a quick restroom break, they called my name. Since I wasn’t present to say “Yes!” I had to be skipped and re-sign up at the bottom of the list… #12.

I get knocked down…

A short while later, though, my name got called, and I was able to go in and read. And not to toot my own horn, or anything, but I nailed it. Of course, I can’t speak to what the casting team will ultimately decide, but I know that I gave the best audition I could.

…But I get up again…

Then last night, I got an email from the New York Public Library, letting me know that my play is available, and will be held for me until 11/24! So I decide I’ll go to the library Friday morning, and read it.

You are never gonna keep me down.

On my way to the library, I discovered the “Library Walk,” which is a series of plaques that have been laid into the sidewalk on 41st street, leading up to the library entrance on 5th Avenue. It added an extra ten minutes or so to my walk, but it was really nice to see, and I think you should check it out in person, as I did not take pictures of every single one.

 

 

Having concluded my Library Walk, I went to the counter to check out my book, only to find that it had already been checked out to someone else! (Apparently, since my book is catalogued in the Research Library, and the books never actually leave, their holds are on a first-come, first-serve basis) Someone else had gotten there first to request it, and apparently, there were now two people ahead of me on the hold list.

I get knocked down…

Deciding to take the advice of the man behind the first counter, I went to a second counter, where I told my story to a young librarian, and her older co-worker. These fine ladies had me fill out an incident report, because apparently the email I got went out to everyone who had placed a hold on the book, and that was the library’s error. I filled out the report, not to get anyone in trouble, but so that the library staff could address it, and prevent the incident from happening in the future. The young librarian took the incident report to her supervisor, and the older librarian told me that if she were able to get her hands on the book, she would scan the first 50 pages of it, and email them to me, so I at least had SOMETHING. (I guess copyright only allowed her the first 50 pages.) I thanked her, said that would be wonderful, and said I’ll walk around for a little while, and come back and see if the book is available.

…But I get up again…

As I’m leaving that particular room, I hear my name. I look up, and the young librarian is there with her supervisor, both trying to catch me before I leave. The supervisor thanks me for filling out the report, and tells me that he’ll see if he can track it down, if I’m willing to wait for a few minutes. I thank him, sit down and wait, and about twenty minutes later, he presents me with a photocopy of the entire play, beginning to end! I thanked him again, found a quiet spot, read the play and made my character notes (on a separate sheet), then returned the script.

You are never gonna keep me down!

This month, and especially this week, has been a series of ups and downs, and I definitely find myself appreciating how much stamina it takes to keep going, and keep working, and never give up. There’s a song from the musical, Finding Neverland, that I’ve been thinking about a lot this week. The character is talking about the death of her husband, and how her children need her, which is not relevant to me, but the chorus, I think, is relevant to everyone:

And all that matters now
Is where I go from here
I know I’ll find a way
If I live for today
The beating of my heart
Is all that matters